1 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:49,810 Lovely day, love. 2 00:00:50,230 --> 00:00:51,230 Oh! 3 00:00:52,230 --> 00:00:53,630 Yeah, it's lovely. 4 00:00:53,950 --> 00:00:55,710 Yeah, is there enough fried bread? 5 00:00:55,950 --> 00:00:59,690 Yeah, 20, Mum. Oh, I wonder where all these are. 6 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:03,130 Where do you think? Blimey, that's not my stuff there, you know. 7 00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,850 Get it up, you lazy specimen. 8 00:01:06,310 --> 00:01:07,310 Shut up! 9 00:01:07,370 --> 00:01:09,450 I don't think all it's up yet. 10 00:01:09,890 --> 00:01:10,890 Oh! 11 00:01:12,230 --> 00:01:13,230 Cheers now. 12 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:19,960 I don't know how you stand it. Week after week, day after day, shouting and 13 00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:23,240 swearing at one another. I can't hear myself eat. I mean, think. No. 14 00:01:24,060 --> 00:01:25,860 Just a little love. Ow! 15 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:29,080 I'll get you for that. Oh, no. 16 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:33,500 Anyway, I read in the Sunday papers where it said you can't tell the 17 00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:37,560 between love and hate. They said that, didn't they? Well, I can tell the 18 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:41,420 difference. Will you get up and get dressed, you miserable son of a... Oh! 19 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:43,480 And that's hate. 20 00:02:04,110 --> 00:02:05,150 I heard you're coming down. 21 00:02:05,390 --> 00:02:06,390 Yeah, head first. 22 00:02:07,850 --> 00:02:10,110 Right, who won that round, then? Oh, leave her alone. 23 00:02:10,650 --> 00:02:13,630 Mind your own business. Mind my own business? This is my business. I'm sick 24 00:02:13,630 --> 00:02:16,470 tired of it. I'm a nervous wreck, you know. We've had this year in, year out. 25 00:02:16,610 --> 00:02:18,570 Why can't you two live like a normal married couple? 26 00:02:18,890 --> 00:02:19,890 They do. 27 00:02:21,530 --> 00:02:23,290 Well, thank God I'm not married, then. 28 00:02:24,590 --> 00:02:25,590 Oh, here he comes. 29 00:02:26,130 --> 00:02:27,550 Jackie Palo, without air. 30 00:02:32,970 --> 00:02:33,970 What's morning about it? 31 00:02:34,270 --> 00:02:35,290 What's got into you? 32 00:02:35,710 --> 00:02:38,890 You, mate. You've got no consideration for any other people in this house. 33 00:02:39,290 --> 00:02:40,770 What have you said to him now, Ollie? 34 00:02:41,150 --> 00:02:43,950 Nothing. You must have said something you've upset poor Stanley. 35 00:02:44,310 --> 00:02:47,670 It's not her, it's the both of you. It's the way you shout at one another. 36 00:02:48,050 --> 00:02:50,770 What are you talking about? We haven't behaved any differently this morning. 37 00:02:51,410 --> 00:02:52,990 That's exactly what I mean. 38 00:02:53,970 --> 00:02:57,790 Look, mate, I thank you to keep your nose out of private conversations 39 00:02:57,790 --> 00:03:00,130 myself and my wife. That's a lot of private. 40 00:03:00,530 --> 00:03:02,420 Blimey, everybody down the street. can hear you. 41 00:03:03,260 --> 00:03:04,420 Have you been eavesdropping? 42 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:10,440 Right. In future, Olive, will you shut up? 43 00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:12,860 What about you, you big foghorn? 44 00:03:13,340 --> 00:03:14,340 Seconds out. 45 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,300 When you talk to me, kindly shut your mouth. 46 00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:22,680 You keep out of it. Look, Mum, I can't keep out of it unless I get out of it. 47 00:03:22,780 --> 00:03:23,780 Well, get out of it, then. 48 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:25,040 Oh, charming. 49 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:28,740 I need a fine state of affairs when I've got to go to work to get a bit of peace 50 00:03:28,740 --> 00:03:29,740 and quietness. 51 00:03:31,850 --> 00:03:33,270 You upset horse madness. 52 00:03:34,390 --> 00:03:39,430 You upset everyone you've ever met in your life. Don't talk with your mouth 53 00:03:39,430 --> 00:03:42,910 full. Why don't you shut up? 54 00:03:44,970 --> 00:03:47,310 What's this then? Eleven to eight o 'clock? 55 00:03:47,530 --> 00:03:48,530 Yeah. 56 00:03:49,290 --> 00:03:51,410 I couldn't eat my breakfast at home this morning. 57 00:03:51,630 --> 00:03:52,630 Why not? 58 00:03:52,810 --> 00:03:56,030 Still rucking, are they? Yeah. 59 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,260 Ah, well, as long as they're happy. Here, give them some. 60 00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:06,180 It's like your morning tea. 61 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:10,620 No, it's mine, little bit. 62 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:12,800 Mum, are you a messy eater? 63 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:15,500 Don't you start. 64 00:04:15,660 --> 00:04:19,000 Ah, careful, love. He's in a rotten mood this morning. Always is these days. 65 00:04:19,420 --> 00:04:22,740 Oh, I'm sorry, love. It's just that only for an hour they were at it this 66 00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:24,640 morning. God, the old house was shaking. 67 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,320 Oh, you'll make me blush. 68 00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:27,700 LAUGHTER 69 00:04:30,060 --> 00:04:34,400 While we're on the subject, come sit down here. Come on, you layabouts, come 70 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:37,180 And you two, come on, you're due out. 71 00:04:40,940 --> 00:04:41,940 Butter? 72 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:49,320 Well... Can't you eat off a plate like a normal human 73 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:50,320 being? 74 00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:56,140 It was an accident. An accident? You do realise, don't you, that that uniform is 75 00:04:56,140 --> 00:04:57,220 valuable company property? 76 00:04:57,700 --> 00:04:58,700 Valuable? 77 00:04:59,210 --> 00:05:02,570 I don't want to tell you how old this is, but every time we go past the 78 00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:04,190 gates, this uniform wants to get off. 79 00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:06,870 Very funny. 80 00:05:07,190 --> 00:05:10,290 Well, you'll have to get that dry cleaned, you know that, don't you? I 81 00:05:10,350 --> 00:05:11,630 It's only the dirt holding it together. 82 00:05:12,530 --> 00:05:14,950 It'll last a hundred years, your one, then, won't it? Oh, yeah. 83 00:05:15,470 --> 00:05:16,470 Hey, uh, Altman? 84 00:05:16,610 --> 00:05:18,050 Yeah? I shall want you tonight. 85 00:05:18,370 --> 00:05:19,370 Oh, cheeky. 86 00:05:20,830 --> 00:05:21,930 To do overtime. 87 00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:25,150 Ah, sorry, Blackie, we've got a date tonight, haven't we, love? Oh, yeah. 88 00:05:25,470 --> 00:05:26,470 What about you, then, Butler? 89 00:05:26,670 --> 00:05:27,710 I ain't going out with you. 90 00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:28,910 Don't. 91 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:34,590 I know what you mean. No, no, I'm just knocked out, mate. I've got a domestic 92 00:05:34,590 --> 00:05:37,710 trouble, you know. Oh, not your brother -in -law and that half -dark sister 93 00:05:37,710 --> 00:05:42,530 again, is it? Here, watch it. It's come to a point where I enjoy coming to work. 94 00:05:42,750 --> 00:05:43,469 Oh, good. 95 00:05:43,470 --> 00:05:46,070 Well, you can get out there and have a ball then, can't you? Come on. 96 00:05:46,410 --> 00:05:47,410 How do you like that? 97 00:05:47,590 --> 00:05:48,970 Oh, all right, all right. 98 00:05:50,190 --> 00:05:51,190 Yes, then. 99 00:05:51,350 --> 00:05:53,770 Do you know what Oliver and Arthur ought to do? They ought to go and see a 100 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:54,890 managed guidance counsellor. 101 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:57,560 Hey, what a marvellous idea. 102 00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,180 Yeah, come on, darling. Hey, yeah. 103 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,960 Yeah, I'll take you out of here, Jack. It's a good idea, right? 104 00:06:02,340 --> 00:06:04,000 Now, dee -dee -dee -dee. 105 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:05,860 Dee -dee -dee -dee. 106 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:08,140 Da -da -da -da -da -da -da. 107 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:09,960 Hello, love. Hi, Mum. 108 00:06:13,260 --> 00:06:14,340 Oh, God! 109 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:18,380 Oh, they at it again. 110 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:21,500 Oh, no, love. That's still carried on from this morning. 111 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:23,940 Didn't offer to go to work. 112 00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:25,260 No. Well. 113 00:06:26,030 --> 00:06:28,010 You know what young lovers are. 114 00:06:28,670 --> 00:06:30,030 Young lovers? 115 00:06:30,370 --> 00:06:31,770 I can't say this anymore. 116 00:06:32,090 --> 00:06:35,110 As a matter of fact, Jack's given me a marvellous idea. I'm going to tell him 117 00:06:35,110 --> 00:06:40,370 about it. You can't cook, you can't sew, and you can't do anything a wife should 118 00:06:40,370 --> 00:06:41,990 do. Well, there's one thing you've forgotten. 119 00:06:42,370 --> 00:06:44,530 Oh, no, I haven't, but I am trying. 120 00:06:46,070 --> 00:06:48,130 Shut up! 121 00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:53,710 I think you two ought to go and see a marriage guidance counsellor. 122 00:06:54,780 --> 00:06:55,719 What? What? 123 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:59,620 What? There is nothing wrong with our marriage. I am perfectly happy, thank 124 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,560 Well, you might be, but what about the rest of us? 125 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:06,460 I am not married to the rest of you. Well, Stan, now, Stan, you keep out of 126 00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:09,120 Anyway, marriages are made in heaven. 127 00:07:09,340 --> 00:07:12,380 This one wasn't. This was made in the back row of the stores in the gold mine. 128 00:07:14,060 --> 00:07:17,360 Oh, yeah, they were showing love is the many splendid things. 129 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,480 Oh, no, they weren't. They were showing from here to eternity. 130 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,820 And they weren't joking. Here we are! 131 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,800 I still think you should go and see a marriage guidance counsellor. 132 00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:31,460 I will thank you to keep your nose out of my marital affairs. 133 00:07:31,860 --> 00:07:32,860 Excuse me. 134 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,420 Something's got to be done about it. Be reasonable. 135 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,180 Well, that's it. Something's got to be done. 136 00:07:37,980 --> 00:07:39,060 Somebody's got to clear out. 137 00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:41,860 Oh, Stan, where would you go? 138 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:46,180 I don't mean me. 139 00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:50,520 Olive, if Arthur won't take you to see a marriage guidance counsellor, I will. 140 00:07:50,990 --> 00:07:52,970 As a matter of fact, I've made up my mind. Get your hat and coat and we'll go 141 00:07:52,970 --> 00:07:54,050 there now. Go on. No. 142 00:07:54,690 --> 00:07:55,690 No. 143 00:07:56,470 --> 00:07:58,010 Don't listen to them. Would you mind? 144 00:07:59,650 --> 00:08:00,650 Please. 145 00:08:01,250 --> 00:08:02,250 Please. 146 00:08:02,290 --> 00:08:04,690 One at a time. 147 00:08:08,170 --> 00:08:11,230 No. When she was a little girl. Mum, that's got nothing to do with it. 148 00:08:13,930 --> 00:08:16,190 Please listen to me. 149 00:08:16,650 --> 00:08:17,970 For a moment, Mrs. 150 00:08:18,330 --> 00:08:19,330 Butler and... 151 00:08:20,650 --> 00:08:21,650 in a man. Yes. 152 00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:26,150 Yes, you see, I understand your concern, of course, but neither of you are 153 00:08:26,150 --> 00:08:28,910 actually married to your sister and daughter, respectively. 154 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:30,870 Well, that'd be illegal, wouldn't it? 155 00:08:32,150 --> 00:08:35,590 So far, I've heard three different points of views simultaneously. 156 00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:41,070 But I've not heard the other side of the story, because your husband is not 157 00:08:41,070 --> 00:08:42,429 here. Oh, that's really bad! 158 00:08:42,950 --> 00:08:45,290 I'm sorry! I don't see why you're saying that! 159 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,379 I give you some advice. 160 00:08:52,380 --> 00:08:56,760 Oh, yes. All you do is sit around the home all day doing nothing. No, she's 161 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:57,760 kidding. 162 00:08:58,100 --> 00:09:04,220 You must make yourself more interesting and attractive to your husband. 163 00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:07,620 Try to make him find you more exciting. 164 00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:09,840 Only more exciting? 165 00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:12,980 And you two must help. 166 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:18,080 Yes, you must make yourself more sensual. Cover yourself with cologne. 167 00:09:18,420 --> 00:09:21,460 And at dinner, surprise him with your puddings. 168 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,380 He used to come here years ago. 169 00:09:37,930 --> 00:09:40,450 It's Arthur, Mum. Matt, come on, quick. Let's get out of here. I'll turn the 170 00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:41,470 lights out. Yes, yes. 171 00:09:42,090 --> 00:09:45,230 Oh, my baby, you look lovely. 172 00:09:45,450 --> 00:09:47,210 Oh, come on. 173 00:09:48,670 --> 00:09:49,950 Hello, Arthur. 174 00:09:51,070 --> 00:09:52,690 How are you, mate? Have a nice day. 175 00:09:53,930 --> 00:09:55,570 Yes, thank you very much. Oh, good. 176 00:09:56,490 --> 00:09:57,870 That's why I go and have my grub now. 177 00:09:59,130 --> 00:10:04,450 No, no, no, it's in the parlour. We'll leave it in there for you. It's all 178 00:10:04,450 --> 00:10:06,160 Matt. Hey, what's up? 179 00:10:08,940 --> 00:10:09,940 Who's there? 180 00:10:12,500 --> 00:10:13,500 Me. 181 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,840 What are you standing there with all the lights off for? 182 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:20,060 What's all the can... What's the matter? The bulb's gone or something? 183 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:24,320 I thought we could have a lovely evening. 184 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:26,760 What are you on about? 185 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:29,800 I thought it would be more romantic. 186 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:31,980 More romantic than what? 187 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,900 Are you just... Just one moment. Just a moment. 188 00:10:39,020 --> 00:10:43,120 What do you think you're going as? 189 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:44,660 Come over here. 190 00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:46,100 Where are you? 191 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:48,880 Yes, 192 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:55,160 Arthur? 193 00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:57,020 Is that a new dress? 194 00:10:57,380 --> 00:10:58,800 Oh, Arthur, you notice. 195 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:01,420 How much did it cost? 196 00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:03,600 And what the hell have you done with your hair? 197 00:11:07,470 --> 00:11:08,670 no wonder you turned the lights out. 198 00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:14,970 Don't you fancy me? I defiantly made a fancy you dressed up like a dog's dinner 199 00:11:14,970 --> 00:11:15,970 like that. 200 00:11:16,130 --> 00:11:17,510 I'm now going off to the pub. 201 00:11:18,810 --> 00:11:22,270 I shall return for my evening meal when you get out of that fancy dress. 202 00:11:28,770 --> 00:11:31,330 Has he gone down to the pub to get the champagne? 203 00:11:31,710 --> 00:11:33,170 Did he like your frock? 204 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:38,360 Didn't he fancy you a bit? 205 00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:42,640 He said he'd defy any man to fancy me. 206 00:11:42,940 --> 00:11:45,580 Well, that just goes to show you how wrong he can be, doesn't it, darling? 207 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:48,040 At least I know a lot of people who fancy you. 208 00:11:48,380 --> 00:11:49,380 Who? 209 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:50,620 Well, I can't think of any. 210 00:11:51,980 --> 00:11:54,820 Yeah, they do, they do. You don't have to kid me, Stan. 211 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,960 I'm not honest. And I'll tell you something else. 212 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:58,960 I'm going to prove it to you. 213 00:12:27,609 --> 00:12:29,090 Have a set, love. I'll get it, Jack. 214 00:12:30,470 --> 00:12:31,830 That's all right. I'll get it, mate. Don't worry. 215 00:12:32,290 --> 00:12:33,290 Thanks very much. 216 00:12:33,830 --> 00:12:35,570 If you find it's exactly right, darling. 217 00:12:39,770 --> 00:12:40,770 Well? 218 00:12:41,690 --> 00:12:44,190 Well, what? Well, you bought me dinner. What do you want me to do for you? 219 00:12:45,330 --> 00:12:49,430 Well, Jack, actually, I... Look, mate, I want you to do me a favour. Ah, sure, 220 00:12:49,530 --> 00:12:55,590 yes. You name it. Oh, God. Look, I... I want you to come round home and chat up 221 00:12:55,590 --> 00:12:56,399 on him. 222 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,400 Here's your dinner back. 223 00:12:59,660 --> 00:13:00,860 Look, I'm serious. 224 00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:02,100 Yes, so am I. 225 00:13:03,060 --> 00:13:05,940 I'll put you in the picture. You know you said that they should go and see a 226 00:13:05,940 --> 00:13:08,440 marriage guidance counsellor? Yeah, well... Well, I went round there. It all 227 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:11,800 went up the spout, you know. He came in and said he didn't find her attractive. 228 00:13:11,940 --> 00:13:15,000 She was in tears. And I thought it would be good if you, you know, came round 229 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:18,200 here, you know, talked to her and stopped her feeling so ugly. I'm a bus 230 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:19,600 conductor, not a plastic surgeon. 231 00:13:20,580 --> 00:13:24,140 Now, listen, I am not going to go round here to be punched up by Arthur. 232 00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:27,790 Well, that's all right. I can arrange for him not to be there. Oh, yeah, 233 00:13:27,790 --> 00:13:28,790 marvellous, isn't it? 234 00:13:28,870 --> 00:13:32,070 I'm there chatting up his wife behind his back. He walks in, I finish up at 235 00:13:32,070 --> 00:13:33,070 Sunday papers. 236 00:13:33,590 --> 00:13:38,290 Look, all I'm asking is a friend to go round here and talk to her. What, man to 237 00:13:38,290 --> 00:13:39,290 man? Man to man. 238 00:13:42,610 --> 00:13:43,850 Enjoy your supper, Arthur. 239 00:13:44,410 --> 00:13:45,410 Who cooked it? 240 00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:46,470 I did. 241 00:13:46,970 --> 00:13:48,170 Not very much, I'm afraid. 242 00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:52,670 I think I'll go down the pub and watch the taste out my mouth. 243 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:54,580 Sandy, you said you were coming? 244 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:55,779 Yes, I ran. 245 00:13:55,780 --> 00:13:59,200 No, I'll tell you what, I'll join you later down there, mate. Right, Mark. 246 00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:01,520 No, Tom, now, it's me bingo night. 247 00:14:01,940 --> 00:14:03,400 I've got to do me washing up. 248 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,760 Ma, you are working far too hard. 249 00:14:05,980 --> 00:14:08,540 You go straight to your bingo, leave the washing up for me. 250 00:14:08,860 --> 00:14:09,859 Oh. 251 00:14:09,860 --> 00:14:11,100 Don't tell me you're going to do it. 252 00:14:11,660 --> 00:14:12,660 Oh, don't be stupid. 253 00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:19,280 Olive. Oh, no, no, I can't do it. Mark, you go to your bingo. No, no, me and 254 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:20,600 Olive will do it. Me and Olive. 255 00:14:21,529 --> 00:14:23,010 Thanks very much, Stan. 256 00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:25,750 Ta -ra, lads. Hey, Jess, ta -ra, Mum. 257 00:14:28,290 --> 00:14:30,410 Ah, come on, Dad. Hey, they're gone out. Leave that. 258 00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:32,990 Let's go and watch the telly in the front room. Come on. 259 00:14:33,630 --> 00:14:34,630 Oh, 260 00:14:34,970 --> 00:14:36,310 I'm blown out. It was a lovely meal, eh? 261 00:14:36,550 --> 00:14:39,650 Was it? Yeah, and I must say, you looked lovely tonight. 262 00:14:40,010 --> 00:14:41,010 In what way? 263 00:14:41,730 --> 00:14:44,070 Well, you cleaned your glasses, didn't you? 264 00:14:45,090 --> 00:14:46,089 Sit down. 265 00:14:46,090 --> 00:14:48,810 I'll switch on the telly. Come on, cheer up, darling. 266 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,460 Oh, I wonder who that can be this time of the night. 267 00:14:53,440 --> 00:15:00,420 I can never believe it. 268 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:01,680 Hi. 269 00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:03,360 You've got a visitor. 270 00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:04,900 A visitor? 271 00:15:05,060 --> 00:15:06,060 Hello, hello, hello. 272 00:15:08,660 --> 00:15:10,160 Here, is Arthur out? 273 00:15:10,380 --> 00:15:11,380 He's down in the pub, mate. 274 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:12,760 Jack, 275 00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,980 do you excuse me? I want to pop upstairs, you know. 276 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:16,920 Yeah. 277 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:19,020 Yeah, well, then, Olive... 278 00:15:19,310 --> 00:15:23,770 I've just come round to... Well, to... Well, come round. 279 00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:26,950 Well, you often come round. 280 00:15:27,190 --> 00:15:29,810 Oh, yeah, but tonight I come round specially to see you. 281 00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:35,470 Yeah. Well, I just wanted to say you're looking a little lovelier each day, and 282 00:15:35,470 --> 00:15:38,210 if you weren't a respectable married woman, I might even fancy you. 283 00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:41,070 Oh, get out, you rotten pig! 284 00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:46,970 You just came round to make fun of me. No, no, I didn't, honestly. I only came 285 00:15:46,970 --> 00:15:48,130 round because Stan told me to. 286 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:53,950 I came round because Stan told me that Arthur would be out. 287 00:15:54,790 --> 00:15:57,190 Oh, I really think you mean it. Yeah. 288 00:15:57,950 --> 00:16:00,130 Up till now, I've always thought of you as a brother. 289 00:16:01,950 --> 00:16:03,690 Yeah, well, I've always thought of you as one, too. 290 00:16:05,730 --> 00:16:06,669 Oh, there you are. 291 00:16:06,670 --> 00:16:11,750 Have you seen... Excuse me, Jack. Have you seen my wallet, love? 292 00:16:12,310 --> 00:16:13,310 Oh, it's over there. 293 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:21,679 Are you sure? 294 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:23,900 I'm positive. Thank God for that. He didn't notice. 295 00:16:24,740 --> 00:16:26,340 You selfish pig! 296 00:16:29,020 --> 00:16:32,140 What happened? What happened? Arthur came in. We were holding hands on the 297 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:33,159 Oh, my God. 298 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,500 Oh, you don't have to worry. He wasn't bothered. He didn't care. He wasn't even 299 00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:37,500 jealous. 300 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:38,960 Jealous? 301 00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:41,480 Don't be mad. That's what we've got to do. That's what we've got to set up. Of 302 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,280 course it is, yes. Yes, here. What time does Arthur normally get home from work? 303 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,620 Better off by five. Right, right. Five o 'clock tomorrow evening, we've got to 304 00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:53,100 get someone round here that Olive can get in a compromising situation, in 305 00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:56,960 Arthur, gets all steamed up and really jealous. I like it, I like it. Okay. 306 00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:58,300 There's only one snag. 307 00:16:59,020 --> 00:17:02,580 Who's going to be idiot enough to be conduit to a situation like that so he 308 00:17:02,580 --> 00:17:03,579 get thumped by Arthur? 309 00:17:03,580 --> 00:17:04,579 No, don't worry about that. 310 00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:06,740 I've got just the idiot for the job. 311 00:17:09,220 --> 00:17:10,240 Yeah, well, that's about it. 312 00:17:11,339 --> 00:17:14,260 So you'll go round and see Mrs. Butler about five o 'clock tomorrow. 313 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:16,320 Right, then. 314 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:17,900 Do I look all right, Dad? 315 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:19,400 Well, keep going. 316 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,319 Smells a bit musty in here, too, doesn't it? 317 00:17:26,619 --> 00:17:27,619 Don't worry, yeah. 318 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,860 Where the hell's Jack got to? What's keeping him? My action stations, the 319 00:17:31,860 --> 00:17:35,140 will be here any minute now. Are you sure this is going to work? Of course 320 00:17:35,140 --> 00:17:36,500 going to work. Now, smarten yourself up. 321 00:17:36,740 --> 00:17:37,980 I am smartened up. 322 00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:39,829 Oh, sorry. 323 00:17:39,830 --> 00:17:42,910 Right, we need a bit of music. Music, right. Hey, Jack, Jack, let us in on it. 324 00:17:42,970 --> 00:17:45,790 Who have you conned to get to do the show? Oh, wait till you see him, mate. 325 00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:46,749 You'll die, love. 326 00:17:46,750 --> 00:17:49,350 Hey, one of the lads from the demo, is it? No, no, I'm not going to let you on. 327 00:17:49,350 --> 00:17:50,350 No, go on, go on, go on. 328 00:17:50,490 --> 00:17:53,070 I tell you what, he thinks he's coming round here to talk to your mum. 329 00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:54,490 But mum's out. 330 00:17:55,590 --> 00:17:58,170 Oh, darling, it's a trick, and it's part of the plan. 331 00:17:58,510 --> 00:17:59,509 Mum's out. 332 00:17:59,510 --> 00:18:02,330 Arthur's going to come back, find you on the sofa with the bloke, and you'll 333 00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:03,330 have a nice, jealous husband. 334 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:05,080 Look, we'd better have a rehearsal. 335 00:18:05,180 --> 00:18:08,020 We haven't got much time. Stan, you be the fella. Look, you sit down. Good 336 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:13,060 yeah. You listen to Jack. Now, tell him that you fancy the quiet intellectual 337 00:18:13,060 --> 00:18:16,440 type. I fancy the quiet intellectual... Not me, him. 338 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,980 I fancy the quiet intellectual type. 339 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:20,919 Oh, God. 340 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:24,600 Can't you put a bit more sex in your voice and say, I fancy the quiet 341 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:25,680 intellectual type. 342 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,220 I fancy the quiet intellectual. 343 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,480 Go deeper, get it a bit deeper. 344 00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:33,600 Oh, fancy. Keep it in the first row. 345 00:18:34,460 --> 00:18:36,360 Here, what does intellectual mean? 346 00:18:36,620 --> 00:18:38,160 It doesn't matter, it's a compliment. 347 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:41,900 Right, now, get sexy with him. Put your arm around him. Here, I don't want 348 00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:42,900 nothing to happen. 349 00:18:42,970 --> 00:18:46,090 Yeah, we don't want any funny guys on in this house, you know. Look, Uncle 350 00:18:46,090 --> 00:18:49,270 Jack's taken care of all that. This bloke won't do anything. That's why I've 351 00:18:49,270 --> 00:18:52,590 chosen him. Oh, right. Well, I must put some more lipstick on. It's in the 352 00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:54,750 kitchen. I'll get it. Where is it? On the mantelpiece. I'll get it. 353 00:18:57,150 --> 00:18:59,950 He's got a moustache, so say you like a man with a moustache. 354 00:19:00,250 --> 00:19:02,310 I like a man with a moustache. 355 00:19:02,550 --> 00:19:04,830 Now, ask him if it tickles when he kisses. 356 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:08,340 Does it tickle when you kiss? Oh, that's very good, darling. 357 00:19:08,620 --> 00:19:09,620 Oh, it's lipstick. 358 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:11,880 Quick, get it off. Here, here. Quick, hurry up. 359 00:19:12,140 --> 00:19:15,400 Oh, I'll smudge my lipstick. Oh, don't worry about that. Come on, take your 360 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,320 glasses off. But I can't see without them. Well, you'll just have to feel 361 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:19,320 way around. 362 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:21,600 Quick, get upstairs. 363 00:19:21,980 --> 00:19:23,800 Here, I'll put your hand on the knob. There you go. 364 00:19:27,180 --> 00:19:30,640 Hello. I like a man with a moustache. 365 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:42,300 What a marvellous idea, getting the window cleaner, mate. 366 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,520 He's not the one. 367 00:19:46,820 --> 00:19:50,560 Hey, it doesn't matter, it's working all right. Come on, get out of it. But I 368 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,940 can't clean the windows. Well, you'll have to come back tomorrow. She's 369 00:19:52,940 --> 00:19:54,520 entertaining. Dead right there, mate. 370 00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:58,860 See you tomorrow then, darling. Come on, that's enough of that. Go on, get out 371 00:19:58,860 --> 00:19:59,739 of it. 372 00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:03,560 You really are blind without your glasses, aren't you? What did you say? 373 00:20:05,390 --> 00:20:06,430 Well, thank God for that. 374 00:20:06,870 --> 00:20:11,790 Is this him? What, another one? Not another one. This one right now. Good 375 00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:13,730 darling, and remember to say exactly what I told you. 376 00:20:13,970 --> 00:20:14,970 All right, all right. 377 00:20:15,630 --> 00:20:16,630 Hello. 378 00:20:19,230 --> 00:20:20,230 Hello, love. 379 00:20:20,710 --> 00:20:21,890 How are you? 380 00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:28,730 Yes, all right, all right. I know me way, love. 381 00:20:37,510 --> 00:20:38,870 Yeah. Well, what's he doing here? 382 00:20:39,210 --> 00:20:40,210 Do you like it? 383 00:20:40,370 --> 00:20:41,490 Good. What? 384 00:20:42,570 --> 00:20:46,190 God, don't tell me he's the one. Yeah, good laugh, isn't it? A good laugh, you 385 00:20:46,190 --> 00:20:49,830 idiot. Oh, come here, Stan. Oh, thank God. Oh, shut up. God, they've been 386 00:20:49,830 --> 00:20:51,370 chatting. Olive, don't worry. 387 00:20:51,730 --> 00:20:54,830 He's afraid of women. He got rid of one of his goldfish when he found out it was 388 00:20:54,830 --> 00:20:55,830 a girl. 389 00:20:56,530 --> 00:20:58,010 And he'll get rid of us, too. 390 00:20:58,350 --> 00:20:59,269 Don't worry. 391 00:20:59,270 --> 00:21:01,630 What do you think he's going to do to me when Arthur thumps him? 392 00:21:01,870 --> 00:21:03,370 Oh, don't worry about it, Stan. 393 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,080 Nobody else in it now. 394 00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:32,120 Hiya. 395 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:36,500 Yes, but I'll come round to talk to your mum about the RSPCA. 396 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:42,020 You're a bit of a pun, don't you? 397 00:21:43,820 --> 00:21:45,320 That's a night in Paris. 398 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:47,280 Oh, yeah. 399 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:48,480 Very appropriate. 400 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:54,040 But where is your mum, then, love? Oh, she's out. 401 00:21:54,820 --> 00:21:58,260 But she was inviting me round for tea and toast. 402 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:01,340 Do you know, you're really very attractive. 403 00:22:01,660 --> 00:22:02,660 Eh? 404 00:22:02,730 --> 00:22:06,490 I go for the quiet, ineffectual man. 405 00:22:08,770 --> 00:22:12,230 I'm not ineffectual, love, no. Oh, yes, you are. No, I'm not, no. 406 00:22:12,430 --> 00:22:13,890 Oh, you are. It's a compliment. 407 00:22:14,130 --> 00:22:15,130 Sit down. 408 00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:17,570 No, I'll wait for your mum, if you don't mind, love. Sit down! 409 00:22:19,230 --> 00:22:20,670 Oh, thanks very much. 410 00:22:33,190 --> 00:22:34,630 Olive? Yes? 411 00:22:35,890 --> 00:22:37,270 You've got lipstick on your nose. 412 00:22:38,390 --> 00:22:40,030 Oh, never mind that. 413 00:22:40,770 --> 00:22:44,590 Tell me, does it tickle when you kiss a man with a moustache? 414 00:22:47,010 --> 00:22:49,390 I don't know. I've never kissed a man with a moustache. 415 00:22:57,150 --> 00:22:58,149 It's Arthur! 416 00:22:58,150 --> 00:22:59,150 What? 417 00:22:59,510 --> 00:23:01,170 Arthur! What? Nothing. 418 00:23:04,500 --> 00:23:06,080 Nothing, nothing. No, no, no. 419 00:23:06,380 --> 00:23:09,200 No, you're kidding me. No, no, no. Don't go in there. Don't go in there. There 420 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:10,820 is something going on there. 421 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:16,480 What do you think you're doing? 422 00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:18,720 I don't know. I only come round for tea and toast. 423 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,400 Tea and crumpet, more like. 424 00:23:23,900 --> 00:23:27,100 Is something like that between me and Olive? You and Olive? What have you put 425 00:23:27,100 --> 00:23:28,860 about me and Olive? That's what I'm trying to find out. 426 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,000 Right, 427 00:23:50,060 --> 00:23:51,860 I would like an explanation. 428 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,640 Oh, Arthur, I think you're jealous. 429 00:23:56,740 --> 00:23:59,160 Tonight, I shall be spending downstairs. 430 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:00,760 Out my way. 431 00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,740 I'm sorry, I shouldn't have listened to you last night. 432 00:24:10,060 --> 00:24:13,420 I've been thinking it over today, and the only thing I can do is to leave 433 00:24:13,500 --> 00:24:16,160 That's a just thing. You didn't listen to me last night. It's got nothing to do 434 00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:18,020 with Olive or Blakey. It was just a misunderstanding. 435 00:24:18,820 --> 00:24:21,580 But let's face it, you've got to own up to this, mate. It did let you see that 436 00:24:21,580 --> 00:24:25,320 in your own peculiar way that, well, you do think quite a lot of Olive. 437 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:27,040 Come on, be honest. 438 00:24:27,260 --> 00:24:28,260 Well, 439 00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:31,540 I must confess that last night I thought I'd lost her. 440 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:36,460 I'll tell you what, Arthur. I'll tell you what I'll do, mate. I'll promise 441 00:24:36,460 --> 00:24:37,460 to interfere again. 442 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:38,880 Right. 443 00:24:39,310 --> 00:24:43,770 And I promise that in the future, I will make an effort to be a little nicer to 444 00:24:43,770 --> 00:24:44,770 the old bag. 445 00:24:46,190 --> 00:24:48,970 If ever I catch her with another man, I'll kill him. 446 00:24:49,570 --> 00:24:50,570 That's fair, mate. 447 00:24:50,650 --> 00:24:53,930 Here, let's have a couple of bottles of beer. We haven't done this for years, 448 00:24:53,990 --> 00:24:54,990 mate. 449 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:08,940 My goodness, Stanley, it was a good job you held me back there. I'd have killed 450 00:25:08,940 --> 00:25:09,940 him. 451 00:25:12,220 --> 00:25:16,600 And as for you, if ever I catch you entertaining a strange man again, I'll 452 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:17,600 you.